Chewier Stops the Chatter
by Daughter Of The Revolution
Summary: Alaska's big mouth calls for daddy to order a large shipment of Chewy Graham Slams. RusAme


**DOTR: These oneshots are an excuse/apology for not updating my other RusAme stories like I should be doing. Don't worry, I will very soon. I think about the stories every day, but then these oneshots come out of my mucky brain and . . . well, enjoy. This oneshot was inspired by the Quaker Oats commercials for the chewy bars, the commercials titled Kids Talk which always made me laugh and so I incorporated it into this story despite those commercials airing years ago.**

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><p>"Stay away from Ukraine, you closet commie!" America demanded with a hard slap to the wooden meeting table. His blue eyes darkened in hue as their gaze zeroed in on the larger nation sitting right across from him with his other commie buddies.<p>

Russia just simply smiled, like he always did. "Nyet," he casually replied, shaking off America's threat despite the younger nation's unchallenged rule to world power. "She is my sister. I have a right to check in on her if she is upset."

"She's upset because you're funding her enemies!" America spat.

Those seated closest to them subtly scooted their chairs some safe inches apart from the threatening nations. They all knew that it was only a matter of time before one lunged—that usually being America—and if one lunged then the other would strike back and the meeting room would be grounds for WWIII.

"You think you can threaten me, Fredka?" Russia grinned wider as America's eyes narrowed at the nickname he was also so annoyingly flustered over.

"Don't call me that."

Russia ignored the threat like the previous ones and continued, "You think your sanctions affect me? Just because I no longer hold as much influence in the world does not make me any less stronger than you." Russia then continued to let his smile fall and frowned in front of everyone, especially before the capitalist.

"Damn it, this isn't the Cold War anymore!" America shouted, shooting up from his chair and daring Russia to follow in kind and stare him down. If he did then America wouldn't think twice to throw himself at him and bop him right in that nose of his. "Stop trying to challenge me again. You've already lost!"

"Have I?" Russia inquired. "We will see when my big sister decides to come back to me."

That pissed America off. Everyone knew how he had struggled with Russia during the Cold War for dominance and after Russia threw in the flag America had been so relieved and finally managed to relax his anxiety—or so they thought.

"You son of a—!"

"Honestly you two!"

America turned to his right to see England looking rather upset. The room still held high tension from the Russian and American countries but England managed to steal the floor before the boiling Germany could.

"We are here to solve issues, not start up wars!" England turned and pointed an accusing finger at America like a parent catching their child in the wrong. "You! Be grateful that Russia even showed up to this meeting, especially after you decided to hold it in your country. Try acting as if he were a guest, which is exactly what he is." England's eyes then turned to Russia. "And you!" Russia's returned smile unnerved England but the Brit had powerful allies so he didn't worry. "America is the hosting nation so treat him with some damn respect!"

"I treat him with all the respect he deserves . . . which is none," Russia offered with a sweet diabolical smile.

"You bastard!" There America went, trying to crawl over the table with only England and Japan to hold his legs to stop his oncoming assault.

"America-san, please!" Japan begged. He really didn't want to get into a war with Russia right now.

"Cease this right now!" England exclaimed, his eyes turning toward Canada and begging for help. The unnoticed nation did so as he approached the struggling American and grabbed a hold of his jacket.

"Al, please, not in front of your child!" Canada begged quietly but even his soft tone got through to America who had heard his words as he turned toward the corner of the room where his big baby boy Alaska sat quietly observing the meeting. It was as if he had just remembered the 55-year-old was there.

England huffed as America halted his struggles and then looked toward the superpower's second youngest child. "You should be ashamed of yourself." He was referring to Alaska's daddy of course. "Acting this way in front of him. Honestly, I don't agree with children being present in meetings but as long as it's him then I don't mind. His presence has a tendency to keep you _both_ in check." England pointed to both America and Russia. "It's hard to even grasp how you two produced a child together!" With a groaning sigh England turned once more toward Alaska who shared so many traits of both his parents. He offered the light-haired boy a smile for his well-mannered and quiet countenance. "I'm sorry you had to see that, lad. It must upset you to see your parents fight all the time, but I'm sure you're used to it though."

"Not really," Alaska admitted much to everyone's surprise.

"Wait, you're telling me they don't fight like cats and dogs all the time?" Romano asked skeptically at what he was hearing.

"In public and around my other siblings, yes," Alaska explained. "But when daddy and papa are at my house I never hear them disagree. Daddy's always saying, 'Yes, yes!' to papa."

Every jaw in the room hit the floor, even America's but the superpower was quick to slide to his child's side and shove one of his nutritional bars into his mouth to keep him from saying anymore. The entire world was more so staring at the beet-faced America than the grinning Russia.

"Uuuhh . . . everyone agrees to sanction Russia! This meeting is adjourned! Everyone pack up and leave!" America decided as he picked up the child state and hauled ass out of the meeting room.

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><p>Whenever Russia had the opportunity to visit the United States or be invited over his stay often consisted of residing at his son's house. The one he had sired with America some years back when their relationship hadn't been as strained. It was always a pleasant treat because Alaska enjoyed his company very much and the boy's mother was always present during the visit so in a sense their gathering formed the image of a mock family with both the parents and the child. It was nice and Russia wished to visit his child and the one who bore him more often but with Ukraine acting the way she was and her being so close to America . . . well . . . Russia should have expected the cold shoulder. But thanks to Alaska's big mouth the entire world knew of the one thing of America's that never turned cold to him.<p>

"You! Go and ice fish!" America ordered the child he was upset with much to the boy's confusion.

"But it's summer, daddy," Alaska reasoned.

"Then go punch a polar bear, I don't care. Just stay out for a while!" America slammed the door to Alaska's own home in the boy's confused face.

America was more so embarrassed than angry at Alaska. The little boy didn't know when to keep his mouth shut so it wasn't his fault and America knew it. But as his raising parent, America should have set some ground rules on what to share to the public and what not. What America shouted in ecstasy in the master bedroom of Alaska's home was none of the world's business.

He wanted to look strong and stand-firm in front of the world, in front of Russia's bosses. Now that everyone knew America and Russia were still fucking despite cold relations he'd never hear the end of it.

America groaned as he rubbed his face in frustration. The sound of a chuckle enticed his deathly glare over toward where Russia sat himself on the recliner in the living room.

"What could possibly be so funny?" America asked. He felt a migraine coming on.

"You know Alaska meant no harm. He just has his mother's mouth," Russia explained.

"Have some concern for our dignity!" America complained.

"I am fine," Russia said simply with a roll of his shoulders. "As long as the world knows I am the one fucking you then my reputation will precede me."

"You're an ass," America groaned with a roll of his eyes. "And just because we're at Alaska's don't expect any sex. I've had enough of you at the meeting _and_ right now."

Russia put on a playful pout as he stood himself up and came and wrapped his arms around America from behind.

"Come now, Amerika, you know that was all a charade," Russia said.

"Or is this?" America asked with a sigh, motioning to the tender moment between the two lovers as they held each other.

Russia frowned before turning America around in his arms and tilting his head up to look at his face. "You're upset, I can see it. Don't worry, my feelings in public as in private are different. I am just upset I am not allowed to display them all the time," Russia assured with a frown before leaning down and planting a soft kiss to America's tanned lips. Pulling back Russia then brought out a mischievous smile. America's brow rose and his curiosity peaked at the thought of need for worry about the displayed facial expression. "What Alaska said has got me thinking . . ." Russia playfully pondered. America's eyes were narrowed once again in caution. "I can get you to say yes to me all the time in private. Lately, you've been more than disagreeable at the meetings, perhaps if I try a little persuasion method like in private . . ."

"No!" America stopped Russia's train of thought before it got too out of hand and pulled himself away from Russia's embrace. He held up his finger like a scolding parent. Well, after fifty, America's certain to have gotten this defiant stance down. "Hell no! If you so much as try that then I swear to God I'll be the one fucking you!"

"I like this side of you; so demanding," Russia said, catching America's arms and then pulling him forward, slamming his body into his chest. "And so very rude to your guest. I think you're in need of a spanking."

"Kinky bastard!" America spat as he attempted to pull away but found his knees becoming increasingly weak and his pants painfully tight at Russia's suggestion.

"So are you, Fredka," Russia stated while his hand reached down toward—

"O-Okay!" America gave before managing to shake himself free of Russia's embrace. "Just let me call my boss first." With his face the cutest shade of red America pulled out his cellphone and pressed it to his ear.

Russia grinned and decided to play some more. "Why, sunflower, I didn't think you'd call your boss and inform him about our relationship so soon."

"I'm not!" America bit back. "I just need him to order me large quantities of Chewy Graham Slams since I obviously don't have the time." With a seductive sweep over his body by those sapphire eyes Russia shivered in anticipation for the flight up to the master bedroom. But still, Russia smiled at the humorous turn of events for the day. He wasn't as near as embarrassed as America was, for obvious reasons that he had stated earlier.

"Going to make sure Alaska stays quiet?"

"Hell yeah. He'll be too busy chewing to answer any more poking questions," America said with a firm and determined nod.

The very next day after Russia had finished his second cup of coffee he had just so happened to catch an old commercial advertising the granola bars on Alaska's television as the state watched his daily dose of Saturday morning cartoons. The sight of it made him laugh. Shutting up loud-mouthed children through food; so like America.


End file.
